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Thoughts on Discontentment

For the past few months, I've been working through Timothy Keller's book 'Making Sense of God'. It is a fascinating book that is thought provoking and well researched. His chapter on discontentment (Chapter 4) alone is well worth the price of purchase. I want to provide some of my thoughts on the chapter, but I am not attempting to solve the problem of discontentment, so be nice to me. These are not my final thoughts either, so I may blog about this again.

The chapter begins with Psychologist Jonathan Haidt's book, The Happiness Hypothesis, which provides a historical survey of thinking about happiness. He quotes the book of Ecclesiastes  which says,

"I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards...I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, and harem as well- the delights of man's heart...I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure" (Ecclesiastes 2: 4, 8, 10)

But to the author's despair, he could not find any lasting satisfaction or contentment in these things. Even though he had acquired everything, he was left feeling empty, to the point he started to hate his life!

I hated life...My heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun (Ecclesiastes, 2:17, 20)

Haidt explains, "The Author of Ecclesiastes wasn't just battling the fear of meaninglessness; he was battling the disappointment of success..Nothing brought satisfaction" (Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis, p.82 )

I think at the very root of all of us we all have felt this way. We can feel this way with romantic relationships, marriage, status, career, achievements, material things- if we can just get more and more, only to find that "more" never satisfies. It's never enough, like how my kids would always say "higher" when I push them on the swings.

Consider the Tweet by Minecraft Creator, Markus Persson, who sold Minecraft for a whopping 2.5 Billion dollars, he tweeted:

"Hanging out in Ibiza with a bunch of friends and partying with famous people, able to do whatever I want, and I've never felt more isolated"

This is very interesting. In the chapter, Timothy Keller, provides modern empirical research and  studies from Haidt, that find a weak correlation between wealth and contentment, and the more a prosperous society grows, the more common depression occurs (Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis, p.89)

It really begs the question, what really gives us fulfillment? Many of us, myself included, think that if we can just get "x" than I will be happy. If I can just get a lucky break with "x" then I can finally find contentment. And on and on it goes- but what if "x" doesn't exist and we are just chasing the wind?

What if we become like Leo Tolstoy and reach an existential crisis? This is how he described it:

"What will come of what I am doing today or tomorrow? What will come of my whole life? Why should I live, why wish for anything, or do anything? It can be also expressed thus: Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy?" (Leo Tolstoy, A Confession)

These are great questions! To be sure, they are quite dark, and I would think many of us would rather avoid or suppress these kind of thoughts than actually confront them. However, many ancient people have attempted to confront and answer these questions.

Haidt says that the answer of Buddha and Chinese sages like Lao Tzu in the East and the Greek Stoic Philosophers of the West had a principle like this:

"We are unhappy even in success because we seek happiness from success. Wealth, power, achievement, family, material comfort, and security- the external goods of the world- can lead only to a momentary satisfaction, which fades away, leaving you more empty than if you had never tasted the joy. To achieve satisfaction you should not seek to change the world but rather to change your attitude toward the world" (Timothy Keller, Making Sense of God, p.78)

Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher, wrote:

"Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to, but instead want them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well"

If we do that, the Buddha taught,

"When pleasure or pain comes to them, the wise feel above the pleasure and pain."

In short, don't try to fulfill your desires; rather, control and manage them. To avoid having our inner contentment overthrown by the inevitable loss of things, do not become too emotionally attached to anything (Dhammapada, verse 83, in J. Mascaro's translation (1973), as quoted in Haidt, Happiness Hypothesis, p.81)

These are very interesting thoughts to consider and ponder about. The one thing I can see is that discontentment is not just a modern problem- it's been a problem since the very beginning and it will continue to be a problem.

Christianity on the other hand, argues that yes discontentment exists, yet fulfillment is possible and actually found in a person, in the person of Jesus Christ, and not in things or circumstances- all of which you can lose.  Saint Augustine of Hippo famously said:

You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you (St. Augustine's Confessions)

In the next blog, I want to expand my thoughts on Christianity's views on discontentment and fulfillment. Anyways, thanks for reading!

David

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